XIX - Inner space and Outer space

Inner space and Outer space

Being in a new city with no family or relatives close by I’ve realized how contrasting my private space is compared to home.

At home, I share a room with my sister, so it’s not completely my own space. Then the house is always full of staff, so there’s always some movement, some noise. Sometimes my cousins come over in the mornings and wake me up. In fact, the last few months before I left home, I was waking up to my father and my uncles having breakfast together.

Here, in this unknown city however, I have my own room, people respect each other’s space and don’t barge in like family. The only noise I hear is of the construction going on outside, or the occasional doors opening and closing in the hallway.
It’s a strange feeling.

Taylor Swift as Rapunzel by Annie Leibovitz

A feeling that could be serene, peaceful and calm, but a lonely vacuum as well all at the same time. There is a strong tendency to forget the world outside. One could easily step into a cyber cocoon and stay away from any conflict which could occur if there was prolonged interaction with the people outside.

My room, my privacy, my space allows me this and I do love it, don’t think I’m being ungrateful, but sometimes you need that outside force to pull you out of your inner world. Sometimes you need help turning the potential energy into some form of motion.

Right now my readings have become more of a natural excuse I think. It stops me from having new experiences with friends or potential friends, and procrastination stops me from studying. It’s a vicious cycle that must be stopped. I guess this could be my New Year’s resolution.

Carpe diem!